Domestic and
family violence

Domestic and family violence is a major human rights, public health and social issue in our community. It is prevalent but preventable. Domestic violence typically refers to abuse against an intimate partner/ex-partner, while family violence is a broader term that refers to abuse in a range of family and family-like relationships.

What is domestic and family violence?

Domestic and family violence can happen to anyone; however, it is predominately a gendered issue. It is recognised that the majority of domestic and family violence is perpetrated by men against women. We need to understand the gendered patterns to be effective in preventing and responding to domestic and family violence.
Gender inequality is a known driver or enabler of domestic and family violence, and violence against women further entrenches gender inequality.
Domestic and family violence is behaviours intended to coerce, control or create fear within a family or intimate relationship. It involves a range of different behaviours and is usually an ongoing pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour that causes people to fear for their own or others’ safety and wellbeing.
Domestic and family violence is not only physical abuse. Violent and abusive behaviour may include sexual violence, financial abuse, stalking and harassment, social abuse and isolation, emotional and psychological abuse, spiritual abuse and honour-based violence.
The term family violence is preferred by many Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people because it is inclusive of abuse that occurs within extended families, kinship networks and communities.
Perpetrating domestic and family violence is always a choice. It is never the fault of victim-survivors.

What is violence against women?

The United Nations defines violence against women as "any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life."

Violence against women has many manifestations, including sexual violence, online or digital violence, forced and child marriage, femicide, and human trafficking. Violence against women is associated with increased risk of injuries, depression, anxiety disorders, unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, and many other health problems.

Domestic violence perpetrated by an intimate partner is one of the most common forms of violence against women. Women are much more likely than men to experience violence from an intimate partner, and with more severe impacts that include being hospitalisation and death.

We acknowledge that both men and women experience violence. But there are gendered patterns associated with violence perpetration and victimisation. Gender inequality, including harmful gender norms, are key drivers of violence against women.

It is mostly men who are the perpetrators of violence and this violence is against women.

Violence against women is preventable.

Statistics

People have the right to live free from violence and abuse.

There are domestic and family violence services across Western Australia that offer free crisis phone lines, support, advocacy, counselling, information and resources to those who are experiencing any form of domestic and family violence.

Frequently
asked questions

When we talk about domestic and family violence in our communities, several questions are frequently raised. This section includes some of the basic, most frequently asked questions about domestic and family violence.

Other specific information and resources on domestic and family violence can be found in the Knowledge Centre.

What does domestic and family violence look like?

Domestic and family violence isn’t just physical abuse. It involves a range of different behaviours and is usually an ongoing pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour (also known as coercive control).

A wide variety of abusive behaviours that may include emotional, social, financial or technology facilitated abuse – often accompanied by threats of physical violence, may be used to cause fear.

Knowing the signs can help people recognise when violence may be occurring and allow them to get help

Some forms of abuse in domestic and family violence include:

Physical abuse or assault

Direct assault on the body (pushing, slapping, punching, biting, kicking or any other behaviour that is intended to cause injury or harm
Use of weapons to injure
Strangling or blocking airway
Attempting to murder the victim
Driving dangerously with the victim in the car
Destruction of property and possessions of the victim
Abuse of pets in front of family members
Assault of children
Locking her out of the home
Forced sleep deprivation
Physical abuse rarely occurs in isolation and perpetrators can also inflict other types of abuse on their partners.

Emotional, verbal or psychological abuse

Intimidation, threats and control
Manipulation
Humiliation or degrading the victim
Insults, name calling, belittling, constant criticism (usually around intelligence, sexuality, body image, parenting capacity)
Mocking the person
Blaming the victim for their problems
Threaten to hurt children, pets, friends, family or anyone close to the victim
Threaten to commit suicide
Threaten to give away, harm or kill the pets
Undermine self-esteem and self-worth
Make rules about what the victim can do, say and wear
Reminding the victim of past abuse (“you remember last time what happened to you when you didn’t listen to me”)
Turning others against the victim
Withdrawing interest and engagement, stop communicating with the victim
Make the victim think she makes things up or “is going crazy”

Sexual abuse and assault

Intimidation, threats and control
Manipulation
Humiliation or degrading the victim
Insults, name calling, belittling, constant criticism (usually around intelligence, sexuality, body image, parenting capacity)
Mocking the person
Blaming the victim for their problems
Threaten to hurt children, pets, friends, family or anyone close to the victim
Threaten to commit suicide
Threaten to give away, harm or kill the pets
Undermine self-esteem and self-worth
Make rules about what the victim can do, say and wear
Reminding the victim of past abuse (“you remember last time what happened to you when you didn’t listen to me”)
Turning others against the victim
Withdrawing interest and engagement, stop communicating with the victim
Make the victim think she makes things up or “is going crazy”

Social abuse and isolation

Stop the person from seeing their friends, family, or a certain person
Stop the person from attending social events
Forbidding the person from leaving the home (or a room in it)
Rudeness to family and friends
Putting down family and friends
Moving to locations where the person doesn’t know anyone
Create a scene in public to stop the victim from wanted to attend social activities
Damage the person’s reputation by spreading malicious rumours

Spiritual abuse

Ridiculing a person’s belief system or culture
Using religion or cultural traditions to justify abuse
Attempt to stop a person from practicing their religion
Denying access to ceremonies, land or family
Forcing people to do things against their beliefs

Financial abuse

Complete control of all the money
Trying to stop someone from earning money
Trying to make someone hand over their money
Using the other person’s money without consent
Stopping a person from having access to bank accounts
Providing an inadequate allowance to a person
Creating debt, often in the victim’s name

Use of technology to abuse

Monitoring of phone calls and emails or texts
Posting exploitive photos or videos with the victim’s consent
Sending harassing texts and messages that threaten
Recruit friends and family to harass and intimate the victim by text, email or social media
Using GPS or other apps to track the victims’ whereabouts
Set up false accounts on social media sites to gain access to the victim’s information
Hacking into victim’s accounts, email, banking, social media
Vilifying the victim on social media by spreading false information

Stalking and harassing

Showing up at the victim’s place of work to confront or threaten
Following the victim
Acts of vandalism that will incur expenses to the victim (breaking windows, damage car)
Recruiting friends and family to track the victim’s activities
Harass the victim’s friends, family, work colleagues and people in their social circles
Leaving unwanted gifts, flowers or items at the victim’s home, work or vehicle

Honour-based violence

Coercing, convincing or encouraging family members and friends to shame and abuse the victim
Using cultural or religious grounds to justify violence against girls and women
Maiming and/or killing the victim to “restore honour to the family”
Rejecting and shunning victim in an attempt to control her behaviour
Forcing the victim to stay inside the home against their will

Why do women sometimes return to or stay with their violent partners?

It’s a common question that we hear all the time.
“Why doesn’t she just leave?”
It’s not that simple.

There are many barriers that stand in the way of a woman leaving an abusive partner. Leaving is the most dangerous time for a victim-survivor – so support and safety planning is critical. It’s important that women are supported and empowered to make the best decision for them while holding the abusers accountable for their behaviour.

It’s important that we don’t blame victims and/or survivors for staying and start supporting them to enable them to leave.

Here are some common barriers that may prevent a woman from leaving an abusive relationship:

Fear – of retaliation, being killed, further abuse, stalking, or not being believed
Fear of physical harm after trying to previously leave or calling police
Threats – partner may threaten to commit suicide, hurt children, loved ones or pets, threaten to call immigration or take children away
Isolation – from friends, family, community support and resources
Children – fear for their safety, custody concerns or child abuse
Homelessness – having no home for the family
Shame, embarrassment or denial - belief that the abuse is their fault, largely because of societal victim blaming
Trauma and low confidence – from ongoing abuse
Financial barriers – the abuser may control the finances or destroyed credit cards
Health issues that make leaving difficult
The support isn’t there when they need – refuges are full and there is nowhere to go
Lack of resources for information, or transport or no resources for disability or in their language
Immigration status – fear of deportation without the partner’s support, fear of the law
Culture and religion – family pressures to stay together, cultures that justify abuse
Failure of the criminal justice system – previous bad experience, no accountability for perpetrator and re-victimisation by going through court
Hope or belief that the partner will change – often results from tactics by the abusive partner.

Are there potential warning signs for domestic and family violence?

Perpetrators of domestic and family violence do share some common characteristics. It’s important to remember that domestic and family violence is first and foremost a pattern of power and control. You may see behaviours that are not indicative of abuse on their own, but when you look at what is occurring, it forms a pattern of ongoing behaviour and tactics of abuse.

Here are some “red flags” that could indicate your partner is abusive:
Please note this is not an exhaustive list

Early red flags

They insist on moving quickly into the relationship.
They can be very charming and may seem “too good to be true.”
They insist that you stop participating in your preferred leisure activities or spending time with family and friends.
They are extremely jealous or controlling.
They do not take responsibility for their actions and blame others for everything that goes wrong.
They criticise your appearance and make frequent put-downs.
Their words and actions don’t match.

Other red flags

You feel nervous around your partner all the time
You are scared of disagreeing with your partner
You have to be careful to control your behaviour to avoid your partner getting angry
Your partner constantly criticises you and/or humiliates you in front of other people
Your partner constantly checks up on you or questions you on what you are up doing
Your partner controls where you go or checks the mileage on your car
Your partner repeatedly and wrongfully accuses you of seeing or flirting with other people
Your partner tells you that if you changed and did what they say, they wouldn’t treat you like this
Your partner’s jealousy stops you from seeing your friends, family or work colleagues
Your partner makes you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, or inadequate
Your partner has scared you with violence or threatening behaviour
Your partner throws or breaks objects to intimidate you
Your partner makes you feel scared by driving too fast and refusing to slow down when you ask
Your partner says, “I will kill myself if you break up with me” or “I will hurt/kill you if you break up with me”
Your partner makes excuses for the abusive behaviour. For example: saying, “It’s because of alcohol or drugs,” or “I can’t control my temper,” or “I was just joking”
Your partner talks about bullying or harming your children or your friends
Your partner abused or killed your animals
You feel pressured by your partner when it comes to sex

We need to remember that violent and abusive behaviour is always a choice that a perpetrator makes to harm. Please contact a Specialist Domestic and Family Violence service for further help and support.

What causes domestic and family violence?

Domestic and family violence is deeply rooted in issues of power, control and inequality. It is caused by a misuse of power by one person (usually male thus the gendered nature of domestic and family violence) over another.

Behaviour is always a choice and those who perpetrate domestic and family violence do so to get what they want and to gain control.

Research by Our Watch (Change the Story) has made it clear that gender inequality is the core of domestic and family violence and name the drivers of violence against women.

Condoning of violence against women
Men’s control of decision -making and limits to women ’s independence in public and private life
Rigid gender roles and stereotyped constructions of masculinity and femininity
Male peer relations that emphasise aggression and disrespect towards women.

For further information on the drivers and enablers of violence against women go to the Preventing Violence Together (PVT) website.

PVT website

Do men experience domestic and family violence?

Who experiences domestic and family violence?

It is recognised and documented in research and statistics that the majority of domestic and family violence is perpetrated by men against women. The populations most impacted by domestic and family violence are younger women, children, older people, people with disability, people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds (including people with temporary residency status), LGBTIQ+ people, people in rural and remote communities, people with mental health issues and/or substance misuse problems, people from socio-economically disadvantaged areas and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

The term domestic and family violence most commonly refers to violence and abuse against an intimate partner/ex-partner. However, it can occur in a range of relationships including parent/carer-child relationships, and relationships between siblings and other relatives, such as grandparents or extended family members. It also includes ‘family-like’ relationships such as paid or unpaid carers for people with disability, families of choice for LGBTIQ+ people, and cultural kinship networks in multicultural and Aboriginal communities.

Domestic and family violence can happen to anyone.

Victim-survivors of domestic and family violence can include people of all genders and sexualities. It is acknowledged that men can experience violence from their intimate partners of any gender.

It can be difficult for men and gender and sexually diverse people to recognise they are experiencing domestic and family violence and there can be additional barriers to accessing support.

Everyone has a basic human right to live a life free from violence and abuse.

The services and supports offered in Western Australia provide support for men who are victim-survivors.

For many men, calling one of the 24/7 helplines is the first step they can make to talk to someone about the problems they face, whether it is for information or emotional support.

The services and supports offered in Western Australia provide support for LGBTIQ+ victim-survivors. Additionally, the 24/7 help lines are available for support and counselling.

Further information on domestic and family violence for LGBTIQ+ victim-survivors can be found on the Say It Out Loud website or by contacting Living Proud LGBTI Community Services of WA on 08 9486 9855.

What is coercive control?

The National Principles to Address coercive Control in Family and Domestic Violence says a shared understanding of the common features of coercive control is foundational to effectively identifying, preventing and responding to family and domestic violence.

The following are common features of coercive control:

Coercive control is almost always an underpinning dynamic of family and domestic violence. Perpetrators exert power and dominance over victim-survivors using patterns of abusive behaviours over time that create fear and deny liberty and autonomy.
Perpetrators can use physical or non-physical abusive behaviours, or a combination of both. All abusive behaviours are serious. An absence of physical abuse does not diminish the seriousness of non-physical behaviour and its impacts for the victim-survivor.
Perpetrators can use many different types of abusive behaviours to exert power and dominance. They can be subtle and insidious and may only be visible to the perpetrator and victim-survivors.
Most perpetrators engage in coercive control in a methodical and deliberate way. However, whether a perpetrator consciously connects their individual abusive behaviours to an overarching strategy or not, a victim-survivor may still experience coercive control.
Coercive control is a gendered issue. While people of all genders, including men and women (cisgender and transgender) and non-binary people, can perpetrate or be victim-survivors of coercive control, overwhelmingly it is perpetrated by cisgender men against cisgender or transgender women.
Perpetrators can exert power and dominance over victim-survivors in current and former intimate partner relationships. Coercive control can also be perpetrated in broader family relationships, such as against children or young people by parents or relatives, against parents or elders by adult children or grandchildren, or between siblings. Broader family relationships also include extended family networks, cultural kinship relationships and family of choice relationships.
Gendered and intersectional power imbalances create and reinforce structural discrimination and inequalities. These drivers compound each other and influence the perpetration, experience and impacts of coercive control.